I am the first to admit I have a few character flaws. Actually no, I am the second. My mother usually beats me to the crunch, just to keep my feet on the ground obviously. Like many, I am prone to the odd snap judgement and the occasional generalisation. I am also a hopeless romantic, especially when it comes to wine, and the idea of a mud encrusted vigneron crooning quietly to his barrel, coaxing it through the final stages of fermentation holds far more appeal for me than the multimillion pound art deco ‘wineries’ that are popping up at a rate suggesting it is the vinous version of a pissing contest.
Monthly Archives: February 2013
Expectations of affectations exposed. Back In your box Harper
These monkeys don’t speak french – the Bordeaux tour
Arrival in Bordeaux started with promise… Blue skies and no queue at the car hire. There was slight fear in the faces of the 2 passenger monkeys as alex spoke loudly to herself while driving… ‘you are driving on the right, on the right alex’. Only 2 near crashes on day one seemed reasonable, especially when contending with squeals of ‘look, it’s pichon’ or ‘stop! It’s a giant bottle! We need a photo’
We won’t bore you with details of the negociant system, of oak regimes at lynch bages or the use of dry ice, though our inner wine geeks were jumping for joy. Besides Lenka DOES NOT SHARE EXAMPLES! There was a moment of compassion however, for the poor boy from lynch bages who was tasked with taking us round; the fear in his eyes and the tremor in his voice when the pH questions came out and he was forced to reveal he had only been in the job 4 months only stopped us in our barrage briefly. Man up sunshine, it’s a cruel world out there.
The long drive from the left bank to the right bank was dominated by wails of protest from Lenka (did I mention she DOES NOT SHARE EXAMPLES?) as emma and alex joyously shouted out every word to les mis. Lenka finally relieved DJ Emma of her duties, but not before we snuck in a word perfect rendition of little mermaid’s ‘part of their world’.
After a few wrong turns, and growing consternation that alex could not find the headlights and the sun was setting, we arrived in pomerol to chateau Bon Pasteur, our home for the night.
Ditching our bags we did what any self respecting monkey would do and took a cab to the closest restaurant. Full tummies, even fuller wine glasses. Happy monkeys.
A bientot
Shoot, Shag, Marry
Tastings that I host are rarely the intellectual, note taking, dickie-bow wearing sessions for which the wine industry became dubiously famous. Despite my most earnest attempts to bore people with tales of clonal selection I always find myself ending up in some animated characterization of the wine – an unconscious reaction to the glazing over of people’s eyes. Monday night was no different.
The gentleman to my left immediately got into the spirit of things and proceeded to play ‘shoot, shag, marry’ with the wines. Merlot/Shiraz was lovely but the simplest of the 3 and though he could enjoy her company for a night wasn’t sure he’d want a conversation the next morning over the breakfast table = shoot. The Shiraz, well he was definitely up for a memorable night of fun with her, but possibly too strong willed for a long term relationship = shag. The V Generations? Well who wouldn’t want to marry Audrey.
Alex
Study notes
To many Wednesday night is Orange Wednesday – cinema, popcorn and an action thriller. For us, however it is a school night in every sense of the word (cue violin). We have foregone the opportunity to go and see Les Mis for the second time to write… drum roll please…. dry tasting notes. My god what an anti climax that is.
In an effort to make it slightly more exciting we’ve got a 17 litre bag of popcorn (we’ve been told you can NEVER have enough popcorn) and a couple of bottles of wine. In an effort for inspiration we have gone with a Mea Culpa Chardonnay from the Yarra and Hollick Coonawarra Cabernet. Inspiration, perhaps not. The giggles… oh yes.
As fun as it would be to tell you the production differences between Cava, Prosecco and New World sparkling we won’t. A fork in the eye might be more fun unless you are also an MW student… in which case you really should already know that. Retakes anyone?!
Signing out to go and find our lives/livers
The Wine Monkeys
Alex, Emma & Lenka